Googled it. Saw it. Wish I hadnt Seen it.

Curiosity got the better of me tonight.

A long period of scattered idle banter had in recent months morphed from something impersonal and out of sight into something that has made quite an impression.

Now whether that influence / impact was for the better or worse, i guess its still too soon to tell. But its definitely a big one.

Despite myself (and you can label me a psycho sick guppy ) I really wanted to know just that little bit more. I am aware, that alot more has already been shared with me than most others , and perhaps more wouldve been shared with me in due time when one is more ready. But I just couldnt help myself.

Each time when a question was asked. I shared and answered freely. But when the tables are turned and i had a question for you , you coudn't offer me the same level of candid replies.

I had somehow resolved - that you might never share with me what i asked to know. you might never show me what I asked to see. And for the past few months, all of this didnt really matter to me.

It was OK.

But tonight, on a whim, curiousity got the better of me. It wasnt planned, I didnt strategise this. In fact , I wasnt even sure if anything would come out of it but i did it. I Googled what i was so curious to see, what i was so curious to know. and when I finally saw it. I wish i hadnt .

Damn! its amazing what you can find on google! :P

I will never tell you what i did and saw tonight . But I am truly deeply sorry.