Mommy

Yes, I have not been blogging quite as much as I would've liked to, on top of the usual work commitments , there were just simply too many things happening at the same time, some of which were work activites, a good other half consistedof little mini projects that I had started on my own, but mostly, the lack of updates can be attributed to some events that have occured that have totally knocked me off my balance .

Well things have gotten better now and i am able to talk about what had happened.

Love u Mommy!

I was getting dressed for work in the wee hours of monday morning when Bijoux called. Mom had fallen down the stairs at home , she fell and hit her head against the corner of a cabinet at the foot of the stairway , there were 2 deep cuts to her forehead, blood was everywhere and an ambulance was called to take her to the nearby Tan Tock Seng Hospital.

Yarrl accompanied mom in the ambulance while dad followed in the car. Bijoux stayed behind at home to clean up the blood. I grabbed a cab and rushed over as soon as I could to the the family home to pick Bijoux up on my way to the hospital.

My mind was a blank, all i could feel was this retch at the bottom of my tummy, my heart was so heavy with fear that i couldnt think straight. When Bijoux hopped into the cab and started to describe how mom's cuts were , how much blood was spilled,she started to cry and i found myself not knowing what to say or do to comfort her.

All i felt was this big sense of loathing - I was not at home to be of help to anyone when things really mattered. I was too far away from the people I love .

When we finally got to Tan Tock Seng hospital , i was relieved to hear that mom was stable . We took turns to go into the emergency care ward to visit her, when I saw the stitches on mom's forehead my heart sank. I had to hold back my tears as I didnt want her to worry.

At least mom lucid, awake and able to argue with the doc to not stitch up every cut but put tapes on the small one instead ( she doesnt want any scarring) afterthat there was nothing anyone else could do. The docs wanted to keep her around for a day for observation but she refused and was eventually sent home 3 hours later.

My boss was due back in Singapore on monday so I couldnt afford to be away from work, after knowing mom was fine, i rushed back to work. I didnt get to see mom again until later that evening when i brought fish porridge home for her for dinner. Mommy ever the trooper merely shrugged off all the attention told me not to worry and to go home and rest after a hard day of work.

I cant help but feel lousy about everything since that fateful monday morning. This feeling of lousiness hasn't left me till today. Moving out from the family home, living quite a distance away and spending so much time living my own life, .... I dont spend enough time with the people that truly matter, my family, my parents the people that I love.

I seriously need to spend more time with mommy, daddy, bijoux and Yarrl.

Spoke with mom on the phone today, the stitches are due out tomorrow. we can now all breathe a sigh of relief.

Other than the above incident that knocked me off my balance, there were also little projects, discoveries and occurances that upset me all week

Projects :

• Tank that was broken was not repairable/nor usable it had to be discarded and a new tank custom made. ( additional damage another 400 bucks) , Project : Guppy's first Marine Aquarium had to be grounded till the new tank gets delivered next week.
• Project Karma has begun and I signed the paperwork to sponsor a little girl from Laos through Worldvision. The program looked sound, and the commitment was so minimal I have to ask all of you my happie gupsters...why dont you sponsor a child too? http://www.worldvision.org.sg/
• Project Balloon is underway : I undergo surgery on 1 March 2008 at Starcap Medical at 11am, around the same time mom gets her stitches out at Tan Tock Seng Hospital

Discoveries:

• Things arent what they seem to be, if you have no expectations, you do not get dissapointments. Guppies are not exactly the beacon light of examplary conduct or morality either. Perhaps it might be time to set myself some distance and ween myself off some delightful yet unhealthy addictions. Guppies are designed for deep meaningful relationships not passing superficial distractions.

• Procrastination thy name is guppy - how on earth are you going to get your powerboat license if you do not study for and take the exams?! I might never get the license to captain a boat and fulfill a little dream just because she is a lazy procrastinator.